late at night, when I can't sleep

which happens more often than not lately...my mind wanders, and I wonder about things...

~I wonder if I'll ever lose all the weight I've gained after three pregnancies, and an unusual number of broken bones and accidents over the last 10 years.

~I wonder if my children will come to terms with my humanity, and forgive my shortcomings (& hopefully understand that I have loved them as well as I am able ~more than my very life, but complicated by human frailty)

~I wonder if I will ever learn to be a good friend to anyone, or continue to let the emotional illness I've battled all my life keep me distant

~I wonder if the man who seemed to love me once, and says he loves me still (all the while being sure to hold me at arm's length) will ever decide I am valuable to him

~I wonder if he will ever have any passion inside for me; other than being passionately angry and disappointed with me

~I wonder (quite frequently) if I will reach the end of my life on Earth without ever having found someone who just loves me, in spite of my weaknesses, fears and flaws.....anyone who would choose just to love me because....no tests to pass, no price required, no strings attached

~I wonder if I am making any difference in this world for good? Am I helping to show anyone how amazing God's love is?

~now I wonder if I'll get the hang of this blogging thing